Christlandia

Is it Dangerous?
...In your Dreams

 

Hugo slams the tankard onto the table, causing a cheer to go up from the mix of lizardfolk and kobolds that gathered around. The fact that the contents of the drink ended up more on Hugo's frontside and the floor mattered not to the onlookers; they were either themselves in too deep a stupor to notice, or were lizardfolk deciding not to speak ill of one of their newest Champions.

Hugo lets out a cackle, then continues in a stammer, "That ties's up, next drank wins, cuss'n!"

Hugo's counterpart sitting across the table, a similarly boistress lizardfolk, tilts his head in a quizzical manner.  "Cuss'n?"

"Yes, cuss'n! It what Vyshkara called you Lizardfolk. 'Cuss'ns in War.' OH. WAIT!" With some assistance from the few in the hut, Hugo mounts the table. "Grannie found a statue in barrow! Nothing important, right? WRONG!" clamoured Hugo, swiping his fist in front of him with enough effort to almost make him lose his balance. "Next time Grannie take it out of bag, it now some small trinket. A "seal" I think they called it. CHANGED FORM!"

Hugo's drunken emoting of events finally forces him off the table and to his backside, bringing most of the crowd to an uproarious laughter. One of the lizardfolk pipes up, wearing a slightly worried expression. "Do you think it's safe to have such a relic outside the barrow?"

"Dangerous?", Hugo lets out with an air of derision as he stumbles back to his seat. "In your dreams!"

-

Hugo wakes up in the middle of a forest. He quickly remembers the battle where he had just fallen a few seconds earlier: most of the leaders of the tribe versus some quick, blueish, cloaked creature. Writhing in pain, he finds his rapier and looks to take a flanking position. Unfortunately, he finds ThudThud unexpectedly next to him, nuzzling the kobold's hand.

"ThudThud! Stop! Attack!" Hugo commands, but to a disobedient ThudThud. "Attack!" he yells again. With this, ThudThud jumps up on his hind legs to lick Hugo's face. "Down you LOUSY, FRESH-BREATHED…"

Hugo's jeering quickly ends as he sees a clawed arm drill into his abdomen. He falls to the wet grass, the view of the dimly lit trees fading away to entirely black, the sound of chaos dulling to a gentle whine. But this experience is unlike the other times he has fallen in battle; to his surprise, Hugo finds he is able to slowly open his eyes.

The small amount of ambient light in the Lizardfolk hut initially causes him problems, but once his eyes have adjusted, Hugo notices that he is back in Nys'esterra. He hears the sound of spawnling running gleefully, smells a fish stew in preparation, and feels the slimy licks of ThudThud at his face. An attempt to quickly sit up an chastise the salamander is interrupted by a sudden flash of pain in his abdomen, as if he had taken a major, piercing blow. But upon inspection, no damage could be seen.

-

Hugo tests the knot fastening ThudThud's lead to the pole. He applies some of the sticky substance offered to him by a local lizardfolk for ensuring the knot stays tied. ThudThud is standing still, looking generally in Hugo's direction.

"Don't look at me like that! Yes, I was having daymare! But that fixed! ALL Kobolds had daymares together because of DUMB SEAL! But Sys'esterra fix that! Seal in special container in throne! Won't hurt us now!"

ThudThud softly digs at the dirt with one of his front webbed toes.

"Sys'esterra says that vision showed us past, present or future. We didn't know swamp kobolds, so they MUST be in future. If true, we need be ready, which means SLEEP! NO WAKING!"

Hugo finishes applying the sticky substance, all the while thinking about the ramifications of the day dream. If swamp kobolds are ever met, should the groups join? Or would that only bring about the daymare's prophecy?

As Hugo contemplates the future, ThudThud does some contemplating of his own; specifically, as to whether the taste of the substance that had been spread onto the knot of his lead would match its great smell.

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When is a dream not a dream?
When its the future.

When is a dream just a dream?  When is a dream a future that may or may not happen?  What IS the future and can we change it?  Was I a red dragon once?  How did the statue of a red dragon become a disk?  How did a disk become a dream?  When did life become so complicated?

 

That, at least, has answers.  When we left the snarl.  When we left the safety of the hot mountain and the buckets and the up above and down below.

 

There are no buckets here.  Or, rather, no significant buckets.  There may even be kobolds on this journey ahead of us who do not even know the ritual of the bucket…

 

And yet, they know the song.  They know the quest.  If the dream is to be believed anyway.

 

If the dream is to be believed, we will be hunted near and far for the item that Granny has in her possession.   If the dream shows the future – can the future be changed?  Can we stop these plainer beings by not going to the plains at all?  By killing kobolds from the plains?

 

Vyshkara sighs wearily and turns over once more.  Her scales itch and tonight at least she fears what sleep might bring.

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Children No More

 

The hunger grows and yet, does not grow.  The song of Tiamat calls from afar – I press the Flamecragers onwards towards the song.  It. Must. Mean. Something.  She would not draw us out of the mountain otherwise.

 

Still, the Jungle is vast and the lights (the Sun?) are blinding.  We endeavored to travel at night and sleep during the day, but even then, Hugo seemed to be unable to find a way through.  Thankfully we were found by lizardfolk who thought us children due to our diminutive size – I traded knowledge of She Who Must Not Be Named (as they too are scaley kind and should know her splendor) for future instructions through the jungle.  We also agreed to band together to fight our common enemy: the Pigmen who had captured me earlier.

 

I tried to convert the savages, but with little success.  They are indeed quite primitive and have off views about creation.  I was told that the world was created by the Old Red One who was obviously a Red Dragon and yet, the people knew nothing of the word dragon.   It was almost as absurd as Granny Sybil and her talk of "cats" when she means dragons.   I spent long hours discussing such things with Sys'estra, but she was not swayed to the quint-Dragon cause.  Perhaps she will be now that we are their champions.

 

The battle plan was well thought out – we sent the Red Shirts in to create a diversion which drew the Pigmen out of their village.  The Lizardfolk created an ambush and we snuck in from the side to rescue those of our tribe that remained captive.   I rallied the troupes with the Call to War and we headed in to join the lizardfolk, led by their "Big Boss", farther into town.

 

Only…he wasn't.  Instead, he ran in fear.  He tried to claim the victory that was ours, so I waited until he was passed out from partying and pillaged the dragon mound by the dead of night with Granny and Hugo by my side.  Unsurprisingly,  Sys'estera met us at the entrance of the mound – at least some recognized that the victory over the Pigmen leader belonged to Clan Flamecrag.

 

The trials within are for the initiated alone, so I will not speak of them now.   In the end, we found proof that the Old Red One was indeed a great red dragon and that I was a great general in The War.  We left with our spoils and even the Not so Great Leader had to admit that we were the great champions and that all kobolds are better than lizardfolk.  They will call us Children no more.

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Wagons Away...
...and eggs too!

Hugo is in the animal pen of the snarl, working on hitching the cart to BashBish. ThudThud is standing in the middle of the pen.

 

"Don't stare, Hollow-head" yaps Hugo at his animal companion, some fragments of mushrooms falling out of the kobold's mouth. "Everyone more hungry these buckets.."

 

ThudThud responds by grooming his eye ball with his tongue. Hugo continues his tirade.

 

"At least we back, no thanks to you! You have to wander off like OTHER kobolds!? The ones singing? They leave snarl, probably killed! First they hear whispers, then music, then they just GO! Leaders come back, find only eggs, hatchlings and soon-food kobolds! Middling kobolds all gone! 'Where everyone go?', they say, 'When did they leave?', they say, 'Why is bucket-watcher fidgeting?', they say. I don't know! Was fetching BULETTE-BRAINED cave salamander that wandered snarl AGAIN, wasn't I?

 

ThudThud darts his head to the right. Perhaps he took objection to the insult; more likely he thought he saw a tasty bat.

 

"And now bucket watcher killed himself with bucket. And with kobolds missing we can't collect foods for overlords. Where everyone? NO ONE KNOWS! BUCKET SPILLED! NOW USED TO PAINT REDSHIRTS WAR PAINT! What do? Follow music and track rest of clan! Put all unhatched eggs in cart and venture the caves."

 

With BashBish hitched to the cart, Hugo promptly mounts ThudThud and directs the two to the hatchery where preparations are being made to begin the exodus. To calm his nerves about the unprecedented journey his clan was about to undertake, he begins hissing a song that had been stuck in his head.

 

-

 

After a long journey, elder kobolds and hatchlings wait at the lip of the cave system for the scouting party to return before continuing into the open world. The discovery of dead comrades back in the tunnels had left them with empty hearts, but full stomachs. Soon, they see the familiar sight of Hugo excitedly approaching, nearly riding ThudThud right through the net trap previously spotted by Cha.

 

"Come, come! We followed kobold tracks, found orc trappers! They tough, FIVE kobolds tall! Sent ARMY of pigs! More meatsacks than Skylooker could shake stick at! Bodies of pigs, orcs, kobolds flying everywhere! ONE got lucky hit on me! Stupid creature!" This last line he spits accusingly at ThudThud, who can be seen testing some brightly-colored rocks for edibility. "But no matter, orcs dead now, food for buckets!"

 

The elders follows Hugo into the swamp to the scene of the aforementioned battle, now carrying their clans eggs to where the cart cannot travel. According to Hugo, the scouting party was "having bit of rest." Upon their arrival they find Skylooker stoically standing near an accumulation of orc, pig and kobold parts, some of which they recognize as their scouting party. They quickly begin tending to the wounds of the bloodied kobolds, and preparing the dead (including a Redshirt) for feast. After a short rest, the scouting party would continue following the trail, readied for more pork and orc resistance.

 

-

 

"Ah no! A trap! Blah, I'm bleeding! My delicious pig intestines everywhere!", yaps Hugo, directing ThudThud to bolt in a variety of directions as the kobold recreates the second swamp battle in as many days. "Then, then, orcs go, 'Rawr, let's get kobolds who killed pigs!', and they run to us, and Reds go, 'Surprise! Eat crossbows!'"

 

Hugo lets out a cackle before continuing with his reenactment with all of the flair and continuity of a bundle of prematurely lit firecrackers. "Then orc DROWNS! Wait, first I JUMP TO ISLAND and we TAUNT ORC, who TRIES TO JUMP IN WATER AND DROWNS!" He leans back and almost falls off ThudThud in laughter.

 

The omission that it was Serka's sleep spell that caused the orc to drown bothers her not a bit, as she had already bolted for the cage containing some unconscious kobolds, including Vyskara.

 

"Then, THEN, I command ThudThud, he leaps 20-KOBOLD GAP, and I get orc right in throat!" Hugo's antics are paid no mind by the rest of the party. There is a new matter at claw. The molting that had been occurring on the back of the heads of the kobolds, previously passed off as "puberty", was now taking a more interesting form. Instead of a lightly scaled or bald patch as would be expected, there became visible a discoloration of the remaining exterior. The more knowledgeable of the party are the first to understand the significance. The abnormalities took the shape of draconic runes.

 

Some thought they felt a shiver, perhaps of excitement. ThudThud thought he felt a critter crawling his leg, and shook it off.

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Hungry, hungry kobolds or:, Miners With No Talent

More hungry kobolds and now they talk about whispers.  The elders think that it might be ghosts – She Who Must Not Be Named did not help.   Bucket full, Salamanders come.  Say they need a lava tunnel cleared – Circa and I bring red shirts, Hokestra, and Cha with us because Skylooker said stupid wet rock and couldn't find Hugh and Thump-Thump.

Miners clear some.  Spider swarm.  Miners clear more – bad air.  Attacked by drow but one gets away and more come back later.   Kill all.  Some loot, nothing special.

More bad air with black stuff – head back to camp.  Buy sled and salamander Bash Bish to replace Thud-thud whose still MIA.  Skylooker says rock dry but still stupid.  

Head back, Cha sets big fire in black dust.  Find magic room with pillars and big magic swirly thing in the ceiling.  Too strong to see.  Attacked by runes who make monsters.  Find stuff but mostly importantly message from salamander gods.  Will learn to speak salamander tongue to figure out message.  There was also not-dead-thing who smelled bad and in stupid common tongue and wanted to steal our stuff.  Dead now.

Head back to snarl.  Should be much drow to feed the masses, but still very hungry.  Many strong kobolds gone now – only young and old remain.  Mysterious.

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Evil Carnivorous Fraggles
or Dolphins from Outerspace

This past season was an especially fertile one, unheard of numbers of eggs had been laid and of those, all of them hatched. This put unexpected pressure on the food stores along with an odd increase in the metabolic rates of some of the Flamecrag Clan. With the dumping of the Fourth bucket getting more food in time for the tribute became essential. 

Some of the Tribal leadership took a small contingent of Redscales and went on a search for food, and a bounty they found; A huge centipede along with its larvae and clutch of eggs. This should have been enough to keep them fed and still have something for the tribute in three buckets. However, the rising increase in appetite seems to be spreading throughout The Snarl, so once again the Leadership went out looking for food. Luckily for the Clan Skylooker's Stupid Rock vanished which is an auspicious omen to travel to the AboveBelow, a dangerous endeavor but if the Stupid Rock is to be believed a well worthy endeavor. 

Once there, a brief skirmish later the Kobolds now found themselves in possession of several crates of cheeses and barrels of beer, carried back in a cobbled-together wheel-barrow-like-sled. This seems to have been enough as the Seventh Bucket nears filling.

 

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Invites are out
Lets get this party started

So you have seen the email and are at least somewhat interested in getting started. Well, then let's do this. Much of the information in this wiki may not be relevant to this campaign or to your character. Anything vital will be on the main page of the wiki with appropriate links. That said feel free to browse along as you wish. Of particular note is the page about kobolds as well as the front page that gives a rundown on what Christlandia is.

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